I think what I hate the most right now is that I didn't realize how important she was while she was alive. I had no idea that she meant this much, that it would hurt so badly that she was gone. And even though this tragedy has brought so many of us together, it makes me wonder. It makes me wonder how many others there are -- how many other people do I take for granted? How many others in my life would I miss this much? Or more? How many times a day do I say, "Next time ..."
The last time I saw her, I said, "Next time, we'll actually get to talk," as I walked out the door after only a quick hello. How often does that happen? And how many people have been taught such a difficult lesson? That sometimes, there isn't a next time. Sometimes, what we're left with today is all that we're left with.
And I just ... I just never could have seen this coming.
About Me
- What's the Word I'm Looking For ...
- For the first time in my life, death has affected me. I've known others that died -- both old and young -- but this is the first time that I've been hit so hard by it. Whatever comes out of me here is simply me forcing my thoughts and emotions outwards in an effort to cope with this unexpected grief.
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